“Wait, You think I’m the most awesome player in all of baseball? Surely you mean Nick Punto.”

The most awesome player in all of baseball.

I think I am a curse. How is that I go to three Twins game within one week and they lose all three? They have a .585 winning percentage — seriously, what are the odds?!?! 7.15%, I think? That means I should have had a 92.85% chance of seeing them win!
I am a curse.
Lester pitched a complete game for the Sox tonight and while it wasn’t a shut out, it might has well have been with the only Twins runs coming late in the game when it was pretty much over already. In the other half of the game, Liriano’s pitching was really inconsistent — lots of strikeouts, but of his five hits, three were doubles and two were home runs. That’s not the way to keep the score low, Francisco! Most of the damage was done by the one-two punch of Victor Martinez and Kevin Youkilis. In the meantime, the Twins catcher-first baseman one-two punch in the line-up didn’t do much at all except for a wasted Morneau double and a classic Mauer RBI off of a 4-3 groundball out.

A fine looking crew — note the homer hanky in Karly’s hair!

On the plus side, tonight I went with two other Twins fans. Forrest left after the 7th inning when the score was still 6-0 (something about waking up at 5 am for work), but Karly and I pulled out the homer hankies in the 8th (one of which she had been wearing in her hair due to lack of a hat). Maybe it was too little late, but they did bring in two runs. We were feeling a little self-conscious about it when the Sox fans around us kept looking at us like we were nuts. However, vindication came after the game — a Twins fan who had apparently been sitting a few rows behind us came up and said he really appreciated seeing the homer hankies and that he was sure that was what brought in the runs.
You see, Sox fans, it’s not just Karly and me. All Twins fans are a little nuts.
Also, a foul ball landed in the seat next to me, which was empty. (Well, okay, there was a railing and a slight drop off between me and the seat.) Two little kids (brothers) fought over it. Yes, I should have caught it. Yes, I had just said, “Maybe I should pull out my glove, this guy hits a lot of foul balls.” Yes, dropping the scorebook to catch a foul ball is an appropriate way to abuse the scorebook. Shut up, Forrest. You didn’t catch it either.

So close, yet… not good enough for the Twins. I pulled out a Homer Hanky in the top of the ninth with Morneau on first and Cuddyer at bat. As soon as I did, Cuddyer hit a single to right. I figured it was the Homer Hanky magic, so I kept waving it for Thome’s at bat. Unfortunately, he grounded out to second to end the game. I think the problem is that it was a 2004 Homer Hanky and Thome wasn’t on the team then.
Yes, that was exactly the problem.
My seats on the other hand: so close, yet… totally awesome, behind home plate just slightly off to the first base side. I haven’t gone through my pictures yet, but there are some incredible shots which I will post. Joe Mauer still has the prettiest swing in baseball and I got to see it up close. I also yelled a rather loud “Happy Belated Birthday, Justin!” to Morneau during his first at bat. It seemed to confuse all the Red Sox fans, but I’d like to think that he heard me, even if he didn’t react.
This may have been one of the best games for chatting with people next to me since a game in Detroit where the guy next to me had once pitched in Tiger Stadium for a high school exhibition game. To my right was a gay hispanic couple at their first baseball game. They asked me all sort of questions which I found amusing — “How many innings are there?” “What just happened?” (after every foul ball in the first inning until they figured it out) “Do they get a point for that?” To my left was a Canadian brother-sister pair. “We’re going to cheer for the Red Sox today, but we wouldn’t actually mind if the Twins win for you.” Oh Canadians and their politeness!
To continue the “It’s a small world” theme from my New York excursion, while waiting for the bus I saw a guy with a Twins jersey on. I did the standard, “Tough game,” that I’d say to any Twins fan. But this guy looked a little more familiar. After a minute or two of awkwardly staring at him while I talked to my dad on the phone and seeing that he was awkwardly staring at me, I realized where I knew him from — it was my stand partner from Wind Ensemble my senior year of high school! It turns out he’s going to rabbinical school and is living in Boston now. Small world indeed.

A quick sample of photos from Yankee Stadium, after clearing my camera in preparation for seeing the Twins take on the Red Sox tonight and tomorrow.

Me while the Twins take batting practice… fun fact: They don’t even let you in the first nine rows before the game unless you’ve paid the outrageous $1000-a-seat ticket prices to have a “Premium” ticket.

Joe Mauer blasts a ball to deep center. We’re going to pretend that the ball wasn’t caught on the warning track and instead got through for a bases clearing double. At least that’s how I choose to remember it happening.

So, I’m watching Sports Center (after watching the Red Sox lose a heartbreaker to the Yankees) and they start to cover the Twins victory over the Blue Jays with the following intro: “The first place Twins head up north to Canada to take on Toronto…”
Wait just a minute now — I have the following problem with that statement:

• Latitude of Target Field in Minneapolis: 44.982039° N.
• Latitude of Rogers Centre in Toronto: 43.64140° N.

Fun fact for ESPN: The Twins actually travel about 93 miles South to play in Toronto.
(While I suppose that the Sports Center writers could have been referring to the fact that the Twins actually did travel north because they were coming from New York (latitude of Yankee Stadium: 40.82661), I don’t give them that much credit. If they had said “The Twins travel north to Arlington…” without mentioning that this was only true because their previous series had been in Tampa, it would sound equally wrong.)

Obviously my attempt at liveblogging failed… as did the Twins attempt at finally beating the Yankees. Until Jesse Crain came in in the 7th and gave up a walk, a two run homer, and a double in quick succession, it didn’t feel like the Twins were being outplayed, despite the score. Both Mauer and Morneau had balls that just missed being homeruns. Even Brendan Harris just missed an RBI single on a line shot right back to Andy Pettitte that Pettitte seemed the most surprised about. But close only counts in horseshoes (and curling!)… besides which, the 7th inning Yankee slugfest would probably have been enough anyway.
On the subway back to Brooklyn, I met some Twins fans who had a much better time than I did. He had connections that gave them the ridiculously priced diamond seats right next to the Twins dugout. She was pregnant with twins — oh the punning possibilities! As a result of these two factors, she was tossed a ball from both Michael Cuddyer and Joe Mauer! The Mauer ball apparently came when she rubbed her belly and shouted, “They’re twins!” I am so unbelievably jealous. (In the vein of what-a-small-world, she went to Hopkins where she played soccer and hated my high school for beating them in 1997. He went to Anoka but played soccer with two guys I knew — twins, actually — from my high school during the summers. And they met because she went to St. Ben’s — my mother’s alma mater — and he went to St. John’s, the brother school to St. Ben’s that my dad hates.)

12:29: It turns out it’s hat day. What do I do with a Yankees hat?! Also, while only Minnesota, Oakland, and Cincinnati stadiums have won the hot dog condiment gold (for having sauerkraut), Yankee Stadium really comes up short in this realm. They have ketchup, mustard… and that’s it. I wanted relish, damn it!
1:30: Just for the record, from my angle Marcus Thames slid right by home plate without touching it. Unfortunately, the ump didn’t see it from my angle and the Yanks are up 2-0.

I’ve spent the evening on a bus to New York — one that only left 45 minutes late — in anticipation of tomorrow afternoon’s game at Yankee Stadium, for which I have tickets. I left the laptop at home, but I’ve still managed to keep connected thanks to other electronic gadgets – I can even blog via my phone. What a world.
To keep myself entertained, I first attempted to find tonight’s game on the radio. Unfortunately, while my Zune has radio, it only has FM. All I could find was the Spanish language broadcast of the Mets. This wouldn’t do for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that I don’t speak any Spanish!
Thus, I was forced to follow the game using ESPN’s live game coverage on my phone. Baseball’s pace actually lends itself quite well to that kind of coverage. I don’t know that I would have felt as informed doing this for, say, an entire football or basketball game. On the other hand, despite an early lead, the Twins still lost. Here’s hoping it’s because they’re saving their best stuff for when I’m in the stadium tomorrow.
For now, it appears this bus has made it to New York. I’m off to crash a birthday party in Brooklyn!

“Love that dirty water…” and since the boil water order was lifted this morning, this must mean that I was finally at a game where the Sox won.
The co-worker I took to the Red Sox-Yankees game a few weeks ago repaid me in kind by offering me his remaining ticket to this evening’s Red Sox-Angels match up. After sitting in Chris Morse’s seats so many times, being relegated to the bleachers felt a bit like slumming it… of course, it was also nice to look straight ahead to see the action instead of constantly angling myself to the left.
While the Sox pulled out what was initially a close game with a four-run 8th inning highlighted by a bases clearing double for Jeremy Hermida, David Ortiz continues to struggle. In four at bats he managed to be responsible for six outs — two K’s and two double plays. His final double play game in the 8th with the bases loaded on a 4-2-3 that stopped a run (and set up Hermida’s double). I’ve been wearing my Big Papi #34 hat all season (because my other Red Sox hat has gone missing) — maybe it’s bad luck for him. Next game I go to in Fenway I’ll wear my Twins hat instead.
And speaking of former Twins players, the bleacher bums seemed to enjoy ragging on Torii Hunter in centerfield for the Angels. Of course, I stopped a number of them cold when I shouted over them “It’s okay, Torii, you’re actually my favorite center fielder in all of baseball.” I’m not sure they could tell that I wasn’t being sarcastic!
Finally, legendary Tigers broadcaster Ernie Harwell died tonight. I found out from the guy in front of me who was listening to the radio during the game, this prompted the following conversation between him and his friend:

Radio Listening Guy: Hey, Ernie Harwell died.
RLG’s friend: Oh, uh, that’s… sad.
RLG: Tell me you know who Ernie Harwell was.
RLGF: Um, sure, I remember when he pitched for the Sox…
*RLG shakes head*
RLGF: When he pitched for the… ?
*RLG continues shaking his head*
RLGF: Well, he had a great swing for the…
RLG: You have no idea who he is, do you?
RLGF: No, I don’t. But it’s too bad he died.

I think it’s about time I get around to reading Harwell’s biography that’s been sitting on my shelf for years.