Red Sox 5, Blue Jays 4… or Reasons I Don’t Cook


I’m not the most domestic person in the world — I’m much closer to being the least domestic. When I cook, it’s usually macaroni and cheese, hotdish, or a frozen dinner. And normally, I would never desert a baseball game to make food. So today was very out of the ordinary for me… and I don’t think it’s going to become ordinary.
As I was pretty much out of food, I went to the grocery store after classes. As I was perusing the foreign cheeses, I noticed a collection of recipe cards with “International Dishes for International Cheeses.” The Emmental and Ham Scalloped Sweet Potatoes (Swiss, apparently) looked the most intriguing, so I took the card, bought the ingredients, and headed home to make a real meal. I opened MLB radio to the Sox-Jays and got to work.
I did okay with reducing the cream. I did okay slicing the ham and sweet potatoes. And then came time to put it all in the baking dish. Here’s an interesting observation: I need a bigger baking dish. My first folly of the night was having reduced cream and garlic spill all over the counter and floor. Nothing makes a kitchen smell stronger than minced garlic all over the place.
After a little clean-up, I stuffed as much of the sweet potatoes, ham, and cheese into the dish as I could, ate the remaining ham and cheese, and dumped the leftover cream-covered raw sweet potatoes into the garbage. I put the dish in the oven and it immediately spilled over and the cream started smoking… and smoking.
In the meantime, the Red Sox were down 4-1 and the Indians and Yankees were winning their respective games. This was no good all around.
I turned off the oven, waited for it to cool, cleaned up the burned crud, and tried again. As I was turning on every fan in the apartment to get rid of the smoke, I ceased listening to the game. Returning to my computer, I noted an IM from Harvey — “Ortiz!!!!!!!!” Whatever I missed while clearing the kitchen had clearly been big. And oh, was it… an 8th inning homer by Big Papi to tie the game up. (Apparently I also missed Manny’s homer in the 6th.) Thank god they didn’t try the bunt tonight.
With the sweet potatoes safely not-smoking in the freshly cleaned oven, I sat down to hear the rest of the game while chatting with Harvey — who is GOING TO THE GAME TOMORROW. I offered him $100 to go in full Yankee gear. He refused (thank goodness). The 9th inning proved exciting as Damon and stole second. Renteria walked, giving the man, the myth, the DH-MVP candidate* a chance to win the game for something like the 150th time. And he didn’t disappoint.
And so, what started out as a rough evening has ended with a Red Sox victory and a tasty sweet potato casserole. Not that I am going to attempt to cook again for a long time.

* I think that under normal circumstances, I would be opposed to the DH winning the MVP. But under normal circumstances, I am also opposed to the wild card team winning the World Series. My values slip a little when it comes to David and the Sox.


One response »

  1. I’m going to be all girly and comment on the cooking portion of your entry. While the spilling and burning on the bottom of the oven can be quite the catastrophe, it’s also a learning experience. I’ve had lots of “learning experiences” and I rather enjoy cooking. Or, I did while I wasn’t living at home. I’ve learned that I shouldn’t let dessert bake while I’m eating dinner, because I’ll forget about it completely. I’ve learned that hosting a luncheon is not a good opportunity to try out a new recipe, especially with less-than-adequate cookware. But I’ve also learned that there can be a great deal of satisfaction in sharing a homemade meal with someone… especially if you can con them into doing the dishes. 🙂

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