Stomper, the A's mascot, dressed as a Jedi... probably Yoda, based on the green ears.

On a last minute whim (because the Twins were busy losing to Cleveland and I didn’t feel like watching), I took the BART over to Oakland for an evening of baseball, lightsabers, malfunctioning stadium lights, and my first ever conversation with a Major League Baseball player’s wife.  Tonight the A’s were hosting the Detroit Tigers, who had a magic number of 1.  I already have plans to see the Tigers on Sunday when Justin Verlander takes the mound for a potential 24th win of the season (!), but I decided I would try to be there when they clinch the Central Division as well.  (Since the Twins shat the bed this season, the Tigers are going to be my playoffs team.  Sorry, Red Sox, I’m kind of bored with you.)  My camera is still in Minnesota, so the only pictures I got are of the poor-quality-off-the-phone variety.

As a bonus, it was another fireworks game in Oakland — making the third fireworks game I’ve attended this season.  Previous fireworks shows were Broadway and Elvis themed.  Tonight’s fireworks display was Star Wars themed, with a cameo appearance by Stormtroopers and Stomper the elephant (A’s mascot) dressed as a Jedi.  Plus I apparently missed some sort of giveaway as every little kid had an inflatable lightsaber.  One boy accidentally whacked me with his on the way out.  He was very apologetic and seemed embarrassed.  I told him not to worry, it’s not every day I get attacked by a Jedi.  This seemed to make him feel a little better.

The Tigers celebrate on the field after clinching the 2011 American League Central Division Championship

As for the game, sure enough, the Tigers won 3-1 and clinched the Central.  (This also could have been done if the Indians had lost to the Twins, but that would have required the Twins to actually win a game.  I’ve figured out that that doesn’t happen anymore.)  Doug Fister pitched a masterful 8 innings with five strikeouts no walks and only three hits, which included a Josh Willingham homerun in the 2nd for the A’s only run.  Meanwhile on offense, the Tigers scored two runs thanks to two triples, one from Ramon Santiago in the 3rd and one from Wilson Betemit in the 6th.  While those runs would have been enough, Don Kelly threw in a homerun in the 7th for insurance.

Speaking of Ramon Santiago, he took part in one of the most bizarre plays I’ve seen in awhile.  He was on third when former Twin Delmon Young was batting.  Young hit a grounder down the third baseline where Eric Sogard fielded it… just as Santiago ran into him.  Sogard managed to tag Santiago for the out, but the tag seemed more incidental than anything.  The umpire hesitated slightly before calling him out — I think even he was confused by what had happened.

But I’ve buried the lede… the most bizarre thing at this game happened at the top of the 4th.  The Tigers took the field and Fister took the mound to toss a few warm-up pitches when suddenly the lights turned off.  Yeah, you read that right… the Oakland Coliseum stadium lights inexplicably went out.  The scoreboard still worked and some running lights were on, but the field was dark and no one seemed to know why, including the PA announcer.  He came on and made the following announcement after a few minutes:

Ladies and gentleman, the lights are out.  I figured that one out all by myself.  Unfortunately, I have no news for you as to why, but when I get some, I’ll be sure to let you know.  In the meantime, just sit back and try to enjoy yourself while the game is paused.

In the hundreds of baseball games I’ve been too, I’ve never seen that happen before.  So, I did the only reasonable thing… I went and got a sausage and a beer.  While in line, I was making small talk with a woman who casually mentioned that she gets to a lot of games because her husband is on the team.  “Who’s your husband?” I asked.

“Coco Crisp,” she said, like it was no big deal.  I then mentioned that I used to live in Boston and was a big fan of her husband when he played for the Sox.  We chatted for awhile about the difference in the crowds at Oakland games as opposed to Red Sox games and how she really dislikes the Rays because apparently there was an on the field brawl one time and a bunch of the Rays beat up Coco.  She added that Coco doesn’t really share the same grudge because “with trades happening all the time, you never know when a guy is going to be on your team the next day.”  I really wanted to ask her why her husband is named after cereal, but I decided I didn’t want to be awkward and insulting when she was being so friendly.

Only later via a text message from my sister was I reminded of what I really should have told her: That a picture of Coco is hanging in my parents living room because he was up to bat when their 30th anniversary message flashed on the Twins scoreboard.  Oops… I’ll have to mention it the next time I run in to her!

I’m combining my two Target Field games into one post because, well, they felt a lot like the same game.  Except that yesterday Jim Thome was on the team and today he wasn’t… but I’ll get to that.  The games worked like this:

1. Twins play team with grey, orange, and black away jerseys (Baltimore Orioles yesterday afternoon, Detroit Tigers tonight)
2. Twins score one run early (3rd inning yesterday, 2nd inning tonight)
3. Visiting team scores a ton more runs and the Twins are never really in it (6 runs yesterday, 8 runs tonight)

But there were a few differences in my game going experiences.  Yesterday I took the light rail to the game from my mom’s office and went by myself after getting a cheap ticket off of StubHub to sit in the Legend’s Club.  (Since the Twins have been out of any sort of playoff hunt, it’s possible to get tickets now for below face value.)  The Legend’s Club is pretty nice — you must have a ticket in that section to get up there and it is home to all sorts of memorabilia commemorating the first three Twins Hall of Famers: Killebrew, Carew, and Puckett.  Plus, there are air conditioned lounges and bars for you to watch the game in if it gets too hot (or cold?) to sit in your seat.  I didn’t really take advantage of these as it was nice outside.  The fourth Twins HOFer, Bert Blyleven, having only been inducted a few weeks ago, doesn’t have a trophy case there yet.  I wonder if that will change next season.  Barring major construction, he certainly won’t get his own room like the other players, but a kiosk of mementos would be nice.

Also, in the Legend’s Club, you can get one heckuva root beer float.  They line the cup with soft serve ice cream from bottom to top, leaving just a hollow center.  In this hollow center, they poor as much of a bottle of Killebrew Root Beer as will fit in the hollow space, and give you the remainder of the bottle.  As I discovered tonight, this is not available downstairs for the “regular” people — that root beer float was just some root beer in a cup with about a third the amount of ice cream.  And they don’t give you the rest of the bottle of root beer.

Tonight, you see, I was not in the Legend’s Club, but was sitting downstairs with my parents in seats I paid full price for a few months ago, back when I thought a late season Twins-Tigers series was going to be an exciting series for the division title.  But not so much.  On the plus side, tonight was a give-away game and my parents and I are all proud owners of Jim Thome wind-up walkers.  (I’ll maybe post a picture, eventually.)  Unfortunately, as of this afternoon, Thome is no longer a Minnesota Twin.  He was traded to Cleveland, his first team, for a player to be named later.  Thanks for the memories Jim… it was a thrill seeing you crush 597 in Oakland.

Since Oakland was so kind as to give me a free jersey during the last Twins game I went to, I decided to go to an A’s game where I could wear it and cheer for them.  Thus, tonight I headed across the Bay to enjoy a baseball game, meeting up with two friends-of-a-friend who are big sports fans.  As it happens, it was also fireworks night, so we hung around to see the Elvis Presley themed explosions in the sky while sitting on the outfield grass.  Bert Blyleven likes to talk about the Oakland foul territory — well, tonight I sat directly on the foul line and noted how far away the bleachers were.

But Bert wasn’t there tonight; he was back in Minnesota watching the Twins clobber the Yankees (and I don’t get to say that often).  Instead, the A’s were hosting our neighbor to the North, the Toronto Blue Jays.  They didn’t sing “O Canada” before the game, which I thought was odd, and perhaps the lack of a national anthem threw the Blue Jays off their game.  They scored a quick run in the first, but after that, A’s pitcher Gio Gonzalez was unstoppable, striking out 9 in 8 innings of work.  In the meantime, the A’s answered quickly with a run of their own in the bottom of the first and another run in the 4th to go up 2-1.  This score held until the 8th when the A’s generated some two out offense including a two run homerun in a nine pitch at bat for Josh Willingham, who was pinch hitting for David DeJesus.  After a quick 1-2-3 9th, the A’s were victorious with a score of 5 to 1.

Having now gone to non-Twins games in both Oakland and San Francisco, I think I might prefer the A’s.  AT&T Park is clearly superior, and at least for me, the location can’t be beat.  But much the way it was with Fenway, you have to plan ahead to go to a Giants game and there are a lot of pink hats and people not actually watching the game.  Because the Giants just won the World Series, starting to cheer for the Giants now feels a little like jumping on the bandwagon.  By contrast, we got our tickets at the gate tonight (upgrading from some free seats Chris had from work) and they were dirt cheap.  Pretty much everyone at the game was actually watching the game (except maybe the drama filled section in front of us that resulted in multiple ejections — we still don’t know what was going on there).  And the A’s aren’t doing so hot these days, so I’m in no danger of front-running.  Plus, I’ve always been an American League fan… going to National League games just feels a little off to me.

I utterly and completely screwed up.

As you may have noted from my last post, I woke up in Michigan this morning.

So did Jim Thome and the rest of the Minnesota Twins as they were scheduled to play the Tigers tonight.  A few weeks ago, I realized this was going to happen, and thought about changing my flight so I could go.  But then I was feeling cheap and didn’t do it.

Fast forward to a few hours ago… Thome is entering the game with 598 homeruns.  I am just getting out of the San Francisco airport.  (As an aside, thanks, broken SFO conveyor belt, for making me miss the beginning of the game.)  Eventually I get home to discover that Delmon Young is batting for the Tigers… I check twinkietown.com and discover that he was traded while I was on the plane for a couple of minor league prospects.

Bummer, I think to myself, it would have been fun to see Delmon go to the other dugout.

Then Thome gets up to bat with the score tied at 3 and Jason Kubel already on base… and he hits career homerun 599.

Dang it, I say to myself, I should have stayed in Michigan.  I also call my dad and say this to him and my sister.  While we’re on the phone, Ben Revere nearly hits an inside the park homerun but is thrown out at the plate.  Eventually we hang up.

Then, Jim Thome comes up again with two runners on and the score at 6-5 Twins with runners on the corners.  BOOM… he hits number 600, the first guy in history to hit 599 and 600 in back to back at bats.  (Ruth did it with only a single homerless at bat in between.)

#$%%$^%&^#$#@, I say to myself, I really should have been at this game.  And then the phone rings with my Dad’s customized ring, which happens to be the Twins theme song.  I briefly consider just listening to the song and not answering, but I don’t.

And I am given crap for not being there.  Which I deserve.  But I hang up on him anyway.

Congrats, Jimmers… I really should have been there.

A recap of the 7th inning of today’s 7-3 loss to Oakland, accurate to the pitch, with apologies to Ernest Thayer

The outlook wasn’t brilliant for the ‘Sota nine that day:
The score stood seven-three, with but three innings more to play.
And then when Sweet Drew grounded left, and Sizemore threw to first,
A sickly feeling grew inside as Twins fans feared the worst.

A straggling few got up to go and catch the BART. The rest
Clung to that hope which springs eternal in the human breast;
They thought, if only Thome could get but a whack at that –
We’d put up even money, now, with Thome at the bat.

But Joe preceded Thome, as did also Ben Revere,
Cuddyer’s bat came third and Kubel’s batting clean-up here ;
So upon that stricken multitude grim melancholy sat,
For there seemed but little chance of Thome’s getting to the bat.

But Benny drew a four pitch walk, to the wonderment of all,
And Joe, the much belov-ed, tore the cover off the ball;
Cuddy took a strike, a ball, a strike, and fouled one off,
But then he watched strike three go by and sat down with a scoff.

With two outs now, Kubel rose and stepped into the box,
But Breslow’s pitch was low and wild and bounced near Jason’s socks;
And when the ball passed Kurt, and the men saw what had occurred,
There was Mauer safe at second and Ben a-hugging third.

When Kubel walked to load ’em up, there rose a lusty yell;
It rumbled through the valley, it rattled in the dell;
It knocked upon the mountain and recoiled upon the flat,
For Thome, mighty Thome, was advancing to the bat.

There was ease in Jimmer’s manner as he stepped into his place;
There was pride in Jimmer’s bearing and a smile on Jimmer’s face.
And when, responding to the cheers, he lightly doffed his hat,
No stranger in the crowd could doubt ’twas Thome at the bat.

Ten thousand eyes were on him as he rubbed his hands with dirt;
Five thousand tongues applauded when he wiped them on his shirt.
Then while the writhing pitcher ground the ball into his hip,
Defiance gleamed in Thome’s eye, a sneer curled Thome’s lip.

And now the leather-covered sphere came hurtling through the air,
And Thome gave a mighty swing, but couldn’t catch his share.
The second pitch was just as fast and Thome’s swing as slow –
“Well, now,” Jimmers mumbled. “Two quick strikes, dontcha know.”

From the benches, gold with jerseys, there went up a muffled roar,
Like the beating of the storm-waves on a stern and distant shore.
“He’s old so strike the bum out!” shouted one drunk Oakland fan;
But Twins fans wouldn’t listen, they had faith in their man.

With a smile of Christian charity great Thome’s visage shone;
He stilled the rising tumult; he bade the game go on;
He signaled to the pitcher, and once more the spheroid flew;
But Jim held his bat back for first ball one and then ball two.

The Twins fans did remember how Jim hit five-ninety-seven;
That homerun in the third to put them up, well it was heaven.
And now they saw his face grow cold, they saw his muscles strain,
And they knew that Thome wouldn’t let that ball go by again.

The sneer is gone from Thome’s lip, his teeth are clenched in grit;
He settles back into the box, quite sure he’ll get a hit.
And now the pitcher holds the ball, and now he lets it go,
And now the air is shattered by the force of Thome’s blow.

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Twinsville – mighty Thome has struck out.

****

There was an inning eight and there was an inning nine;
But nowhere in those innings did they show a winning sign,
Oh, they had the lead but lost it when the A’s scored in the third;
And in the fourth Oak scored again and ’twas the final word.

Well, that game was less fun.

I went early and watched batting practice.  I don’t think I’ve ever been that close to Jim Thome before… that man is huge!  He didn’t hit 597 (HR) tonight, but he did have a double and single — and he even managed to score from second on a Delmon Young single.  Watching Thome “run” around the bases amuses me.  It makes me think I could be a professional athlete… if I also had hulking muscles and could hit 500 ft homeruns.  During batting practice, I watched as they took turns running the bases between their turns at bat.  While younger players like Matt Tolbert and Ben Revere busted their butts, Thome just kind of trotted — he really does look like a jolly Paul Bunyan out there.  But look at him crush this ball (for a single):

Jim Thome crushes a single

Unfortunately, Thome’s offense was about all the Twins had tonight.  By contrast, Oakland had it in droves and were helped out by some pretty terrible Twins defense.  The lowlight was possibly in the second inning when, after turning a double play, pitcher Nick Blackburn headed back to the dugout… except there were only two outs and a runner on 3rd who thought about scoring.  The Twins only had one error on the scoreboard — a muffed thrown from Joe Mauer to Tsuyoshi Nishioka that allowed Coco Crisp to steal not one but two bases in the first inning, which lead to the first Oakland run.  However, there were at least two other plays that were questionably errors as well: Danny Valencia missing a Scott Sizemore “double” down the line in the 5th which drove in three runs and Trevor Plouffe making a mental error, (over-)throwing to second on a hit and run when he had no shot at the runner.  Oh, plus Joe Mauer’s passed ball that led to a run… that’s five of Oakland’s 8 runs caused by Twins errors or pseudo-errors.  That’s the run differential right there.

Also, for the person who reads this that is enamored of him, Cliff Pennington had a double and walk, each of which led to him scoring a run.  I do not like your man Pennington, even if he does have a name that invokes images of British tea parties.

To end on a happy Jim Thome related noted, these pictures are from yesterday’s game.  If you don’t get it, go watch this first.

Jim Thome stand-ins: The men with the ox in the batter's box... two pictures to be sure you get both the mustaches and the back of the flannels

Tonight I traveled across the Bay to Oakland to see the Twins take on the Athletics. It was also the first weekend back for Twins broadcaster and new Hall of Famer, Bert Blyleven. Bert loves to talk about the large amount of foul territory in Oakland, and thus I made a sign… and as he is wont to do, Bert circled me! Check out the animated gif I made from screen grabs of my (very brief) moment of Twins fame.

Unfortunately, the guy in front of me chose my brief window of fame to get up and in doing so, partially blocked the sign. But it says “Circle me {Hall of Famer->} Bert… if you can find me past all this Foul Territory!”  My mother texted me to tell me she and her sisters (and my sister) had seen me.  After confirming that he was circled too, I think I made that kid in front of me’s night.

It wasn’t just the circling that made this game fun — the fact that the Twins beat up on the A’s 9-5 added to the enjoyment. The Twins struck first in the first on a two out double from Jason “Professional Hitter” Kubel that scored Trevor “I almost got his jersey” Plouffe and Joe “Milk Drinker” Mauer. The A’s answered quickly by tying it in the bottom of the inning on a two run Josh “Named like a Cricketer” Willingham homer. In the third inning, the Twins went ahead for the final time on a rather anemic display of offense — two errors leading to runners on first and third followed by a GIDP by Michael “I actually have his jersey” Cuddyer that incidentally scored Plouffe from third.

Just to prove that they had real offense left in them, the Twins scored again in the 5th on a Plouffe double, in the 6th off of successive singles from Delmon “Don’t make him run” Young and Matt “Morneau Lookalike” Tolbert followed by two walks to Drew “The Other Catcher” Butera and Ben “Damn, he’s fast” Revere. The Twins really put the nail in the coffin in the 8th with another Plouffe RBI double and a three run homerun by Cuddyer to go up 9-2. Hey, Onion, they figured out that two runs in one at bat thing.

The A’s finally scored again in the 9th on another Willingham homerun — this one a three run shot. This made the very nice Oakland fans next to me happy, so I was happy for them as long as Glen Perkins was in the bullpen to make sure it didn’t become a trend. Those same fans later gave me their extra turkey sandwich while we waited for the start of the postgame fireworks (inexplicably set to Broadway showtunes). Incidentally, this was the second time this season I went to see the Twins in Oakland and random strangers gave me free food. Seriously nice people in Oakland…

That’s not a typo… last night the Rangers beat up on the Twins with 20 runs.  The box score for the first 5 innings is the same as the zip code for Ft. Lauderdale, Florida: 3-3-3-5-4.

But if there is to be a silver lining in a game like that, it’s that in the 8th inning, the Twins held the Rangers scoreless under the pitching prowess of Michael Cuddyer.  Now, for those who aren’t Twins fans, you might not get why that is impressive.  This was Cuddyer’s Major League pitching debut — actually, I think it was his professional pitching debut.  While he did load the bases including a walk, he managed to get out of the inning with a 0.00 ERA. His velocity was clocked at 87 MPH, which isn’t half bad. I choose to believe that he was most throwing his own style of pitch, a relative of the cutter called the Cudder (get it?).

Except he’s not actually a pitcher. This season he’s mostly been filling in at first base for the injured Justin Morneau, but he’s nominally the right fielder.  At various points in his Twins career, he’s also played left field, center field, third base, and second base.  After last nights performance, he’s only missing short stop and catcher for the career cycle.

This brings me to a proposition… if the Twins are still languishing near the bottom of the division come September, Cuddyer should pull a Cesar Tovar and play all nine positions in the same game.  In fact, if they’re still languishing on August 26, he should do it… because I have tickets to that game.